Every woman carries numerous unseen roles, a testament we call the "Motherload" to their resilience and influence. Our series, "Unpacking the Motherload," celebrates these powerful stories. Meet Sue—wife, mother, daughter, sister, and community cornerstone. Read on for inspiration.
What are the roles you play in your life in addition to being a mother?
I play various roles in both my personal and professional life. I am a wife, daughter, mother, sister, sister-in-law, aunt, niece, neighbor, and friend. Professionally, I serve as an employee and a leader, overseeing a team of individuals. Additionally, I am actively engaged with my community, currently serving my third year on the Citizens Advisory Committee for our school district, with two more years remaining in my term. I am excited to embark on a new role as a board member for the local chapter of the League of Women Voters, where I will serve a two-year term.
How do you maintain a sense of identity and individuality while being a mom?
I don't think much about this because I don't feel like I’ve lost myself. Part of it is being really authentic with my son and allowing him to see and understand all the different roles I play–I allow my silly side to be seen or show my concerned mom's side. I strive to be as authentic as possible with him. This authenticity not only helps me feel true to myself but also keeps me fully engaged and present. My son is part of my life, and we have a multitude of shared experiences which has been really helpful in maintaining my sense of identity.
How do you handle the juggling act of integrating work and personal life?
I feel lucky. I have a job that offers me a generous amount of flexibility. Working sometimes from home allows freedom to schedule appointments, like doctor visits. I genuinely enjoy my work (I’m the Chief Marketing Officer for a graduate school at a university), and unlike many, I don't dread Sundays or feel overwhelmed when I check emails. My boss and colleagues respect designated work hours, and even though I occasionally work outside of them, neither I nor my colleagues expect a response to emails sent. My work offers a lot of balance which is crucial for me, especially considering my commute. However, I struggle to keep activities like exercise consistently on my calendar, often sacrificing them first when things get busy.
How do you find time for self-care despite the demands of the many hats you wear?
Although it hasn't always been a priority, I've made a conscious effort to incorporate self-care into my routine over the past year. Little things, like a regular manicure appointment, grant me an hour of personal time and make me feel good. I've started treating myself to more frequent facials, which helps me feel better about my skin.
Also, I've adopted the practice of dedicating 15-30 minutes every Friday morning–after dropping my son at school–to a DIY facial. It’s a quiet time in the house, with only my dog for company, allowing me to unwind and pamper myself with various lotions, potions, and masks. I'm pretty consistent and I find it to be enjoyable.
Though exercise is always on my mind, there are occasions when my commitment wavers, especially when my schedule is disrupted, such as during vacations. I know I need to find the right schedule to maintain this aspect of self-care consistently.
What's your go-to self-care routine or activity when you need a break?
A long, hot shower and an extended face care routine. Being able to enjoy a shower is luxurious, especially when I pamper myself with Evening Body Serum afterwards. Or taking a walk by myself or with our dog.
On a lighter note, have you considered charging a fare for your "Mom Taxi Service," and do your passengers give you a five-star rating?
No, and they probably wouldn’t because of my expectations! I would gain stars for making an effort to play the music they want to hear but lose stars for asking too many questions of my son and his friends or for gently insisting they say thank you for the ride. I’m a stickler about good manners!
Okay, rapid fire Q&A!
Book you always recommend: The Alice Network by Kate Quinn.
Secret to staying organized: An up-to-date calendar and lists for everything!
Favorite way to unwind: Reading a book.
Best piece of advice for moms like yourself: It's okay to say no. I've begun practicing this more often when I feel unable to commit, such as saying, “No, I can’t do that party at school,” or “No, I can’t volunteer or chaperone,” or “No, I can't make that meeting.” It's OK to say no.
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